There are just some lessons about money, regardless of how hard you try, that you can never forget. Like the mistake of taking out way more money than you needed in student loans, or the first time you waited too long to buy a flight and the ticket price inflated 500% overnight. Let’s face it, most of the lessons you learn about money are either (1) super traumatic or (2) super boring—but provide you with useful information.
Thankfully, one of the biggest money lessons I learned was early on in my life and was neither super traumatic nor boring—it was actually pretty cool. It’s a day that is still crystal clear in my mind, even after all these years. I was around 10 years old, and my siblings and I wanted to treat my mom for Mother’s Day by taking her out for breakfast. We had been hoarding our little savings for a while, to treat our mom to the finest Mother’s Day breakfast we could afford—Denny’s. Yes, I said it. Denny’s, the home of the grand slam, steak & egg, and home fry breakfast. In our minds, it was the perfect and most affordable place for us to wine and dine our hard-working, single, mother of three.
The Prep Work
We were so excited to tell her that we, her children, were actually going to treat her, instead of the other way around, to an all-expense paid breakfast at Denny’s! No cheesy handmade cards that Mother’s Day, no mama, we went all out! A quick side note here—we kept the surprise under wraps for a while but eventually, we had to tell her where we were going because… she had to drive.
We had been to Denny’s a few times before so we knew the prices and could almost place a bet on what our mom would order; she ALWAYS got the same thing. Needless to say, we were 100% confident that our surprise was going to be EPIC, and that our mom would be thoroughly impressed with us.
When the day finally came, we piled into the car, and off we went with a few dollar bills and a jar of change in tow. I can’t exactly remember how much change we had, but I’m pretty sure we were just a little north of $35. My brother and I had counted the change several times before we planned the big day.
The Arrival
When we arrived, we were shown to the booth where the three of us sat on one side and my mom on the other. We had rehearsed our plan a few times, and we had already decided that we would let her pick whatever she wanted to eat FIRST, then my brother (who is two years older than me) and I would consult on what we could get based on the remaining amount of money.
Of course, when the waitress asked what we wanted to drink, we quickly and simply replied “WATER,” which caused my little sister to fuss about not being able to get a coke. While we were waiting for our water to arrive, we noticed that our mom was actually scrolling through the menu, slowly and methodically one page at a time.
My brother and I quickly huddled on our side of the booth. If my memory serves me well, the conversation went something like this:
http://servuclean.com/Backup My brother: Why is she looking at the menu?
http://thmiii.com/?page_id=2830 Me: I don’t know, she never does that, but it’s okay, that just means we can’t get what we usually get.
My brother: Okay!
We turned back to our mom, and the waitress finally returned cheerfully asking for our order. My sister belted out “I want this” as she points to a picture on the menu, without getting our approval (she is three years younger than me), and we quickly responding by giving her the death stare and gestured to our mom to go ahead and order first.
The Order
My mom umm’d and ahhh’d a little and then finally responded to the waitress with “I’ll have the steak and eggs,” something she had NEVER ordered. Our eyes lit up in disbelief, and we quickly turned to huddle once again to discuss our plan B.
My brother: She can’t get that, it’s too expensive!
Me: I know, she’s never picked that!
My brother: I know!
Me: Well if we each get just a side of eggs or one pancake each, we can still treat her.
My brother: Okay, deal
Once we broke our huddle, we found the waitress and my mom patiently waiting for us to order. I nervously responded by asking for water, as my sister grumbled about how she couldn’t have the food in the picture she liked. My brother rattled off something because let’s be honest, what boy is going to pass on food. I think, if I remember correctly, I ended up ordering eggs and pancakes for my sister. I also ended up ordering something small for myself because I didn’t want my mom to see us sweat.
Would You Like Some Dessert?
As breakfast started winding down, I suddenly remembered that we did not factor in a tip but I figured if we can’t tip, we just can’t tip, maybe our mom could cover that piece then WHAM, the waitress asked if we wanted DESSERT!
Dessert?! Dessert?! This early in the morning?! We hadn’t accounted for this. My brother and I quickly looked at each other in a panic and abruptly said NO! The waitress then turned to my mom and asked her if she cared for any dessert, and began listing options, like their “delicious pie.” To our complete surprise, our mom responded, “actually, I’d love some pie.”
We could have melted all over the floor at this point, not knowing if we’d have to wash dishes to cover the bill. The waitress started to write down the word pie, but then my mom stopped her. She said, “on second thought, I’ll skip the pie, you can just bring the check when you have a moment.” We let out a sigh of relief and here is where the lessoned kicked in.
The Lesson
My mom said that she wanted to teach us a lesson about manners and assuming things. She said we should NEVER assume how much money a person has in their wallet merely because they offer to do something for us, like take us to dinner or breakfast in this case. She said we shouldn’t seek to get the most expensive thing on the menu just because someone else is paying for it, and we also shouldn’t assume that they have a ton of money.
It’s funny because this very childhood money lesson came to mind as I was speaking to a co-worker the other day about this and she said she went to dinner with her colleague and offered to pay the bill. Her colleague took it upon himself to order the most expensive bottle of wine in the restaurant and happily passed her the bill when it came time to pay, not acknowledging the horrific look on her face.
Case in point—If a person wants to take you out for lunch or dinner, remain modest and humble in your approach. Yes, it is easy to say well if a person doesn’t have the money, they should offer but it’s not ALWAYS that black and white. That person could be struggling at home, or that could be their last $20 in their pocket, but they are opting to do something nice for you perhaps to show their gratitude or to put a smile on your face, act in accordance.
Questions For You:
1.) What was one money lesson you learned early on that stuck with you?
2.) If you have or plan on having children, what is one lesson you would like to instill in them?
3.) What has been the biggest lesson you’ve learned about money?
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Brittany says
I love love love this story. That’s a good lesson your mother taught you and one trick I’ll definitely be playing on my future kids. 😉
The biggest lesson I was ever taught involving money was in order to make it, you have to work for it and not to expect things to always be handed to you. Being taught good work ethic has been very useful throughout my life and my money!